Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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