nina...;shut up we are having fun :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Why is Roenz Gay? He isnt.

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops