I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Maturity is a virtue.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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The dyslexic man called the black man a ginger.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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