What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

A black guy walks into a bar. When he saw the white bartender's bar he got offended. There were heads of hunted animals on the walls. He works for PETA.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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