How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead walk into a bar. There is also a woman with black hair standing outside, and the man next to her is bald.

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Mark Wilson

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Type 2 diabetics

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops