What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

What did the man say to his brother? Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car crash.

Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

I WILL DESTROY ISIS

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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