How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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man boobs

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour

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I enjoy telling anticlimactic jokes Very much.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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obama

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whats brown? poop.

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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