Jared Gough is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

MICHAEL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Up to 50% off."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +6

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +6

iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops