What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Why did he die? He was sick.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops