Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +64

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops