Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Rebecca Black

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What sucks?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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I can Nazi

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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Oh. So his name's Brandon.

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Women"s Rights

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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