I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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