What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Small breasts.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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Noah is Smart.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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jgkbk,mn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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whats stupid, retarded, and dumb an Erin Perri.

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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AND

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops