your moms so fat she has kankles

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Lacrosse

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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