Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

11111

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops