There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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A person from Singapore eats

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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