Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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