"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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Can you help jack Off. The elephant?

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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N-E Pats never cheated

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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