- Anti Joke

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

To mama so old, she might die soon.

What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

Q: Why do police men keep killing unarmed black men? A: I don't know.

Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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