What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

Those last 4 were by: Walter

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

"...."-Hellen Keller

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

YOU

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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