EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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Q: Human being? A: False. Jew.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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Yo mama's so fat that she pushed you off your computer and you couldnt write anymore "yo Mama" jokes.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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flavin's head

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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