One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many fingers am i holding up? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops