How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops