What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what the hell happened to your face

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Swag.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -8

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops