What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Whats Obama's last name?

thumb_up thumb_down +118

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops