Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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hi mom

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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roses are red violets are blue

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What's city is in New York New York City

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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