How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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neil likes pube toast

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops