What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Lil Wayne

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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