Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

thumb_up thumb_down -29

kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

hello

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I like food. But what's more than that it is necessary for survival. ASIAN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Beka has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops