How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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Oh

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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