What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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170

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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