How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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