I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops