A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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You

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Dont look at me.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops