a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Where is my tractor?

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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