How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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c:

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Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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CRY

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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A ginger was with his friends

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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