What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Get in the car.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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69

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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