What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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stinky boner

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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