What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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vaginas

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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