What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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I drive a 'rarri

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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(Put joke here)

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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Melbourne Football Club.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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Whats the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't pick up the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops