Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

some of these so called "anti-jokes" are real joke s- they don't belong on anti-joke. they are very funny but are traditional jokes that use cliched non-sequitor as punchlines.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

whats long and green? weed

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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