Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Lynching Lynching is an extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob, often by hanging, but also by burning at the stake or shooting, in order to punish an alleged transgressor, or to intimidate, control, or otherwise manipulate a population of people. It is related to other means of social control that arise in communities, such as charivari, riding the rail, and tarring and feathering. Lynchings have been more frequent in times of social and economic tension, and have often been the means used by the politically dominant population to oppress social challengers. Violence in the United States against African Americans, especially in the South, rose in the aftermath of the Civil War, after slavery had been abolished and recently freed black men were given the right to vote. Violence rose even more at the end of the century, after southern white Democrats regained their political power in the South in the 1870s. States passed new constitutions or legislation which effectively disfranchised most blacks and many poor whites, established segregation of public facilities by race, and separated blacks from common public life and facilities. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968, mostly from 1882 to 1920. Lynching during the 19th century in the United States, Britain and colonies, coincided with a period of violence which denied people participation in white-dominated society on the basis of race or gender after the Emancipation Act of 1833. Today lynching is a felony in all states of the United States, defined by some codes of law as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person which results in the death of the person," with a 'mob' being defined as "the assemblage of two or more persons, without color or authority of law, for the premeditated purpose and with the premeditated intent of committing an act of violence upon the person of another." Lynching in the second degree is defined as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result." To sustain a conviction for lynching, at least some evidence of premeditation must be produced, but "The common intent to do violence" may be formed before or during the assemblage."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

raping black women

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops