How many Neurons does a bug have? - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -It's true

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Person 1: Can I write a good anti-joke? Person 2: No. Person 1: Why nut? Person 2: All the gud onez r taken. ;-; tru...

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Why was the black man put in jail? Because he escaped.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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Snarf Nuggets

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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