how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Ebola

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Alex Eggbert

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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Why couldn't the young girl play outside with her friends? She was bed ridden with terminal cancer.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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If you looked up stupid in Webster's dictionary, you wouldn't see a picture of yourself, because Webster's dictionary doesn't have pictures.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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