want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Wade's the father

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops