An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

thumb_up thumb_down +34

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

thumb_up thumb_down +26

like my drawing of a white person?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops