How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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