a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Don't rape me!

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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Poopsack Jones

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Poop

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A man walks into a bar. He says ow

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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