Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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