no.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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